


Dicks out for the Hansens

by inthedrift



Series: A Single Brain Cell Verse [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Kaiju, F/M, M/M, Multi, That's it, The boys are idiots, that's basically this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 11:11:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inthedrift/pseuds/inthedrift
Summary: Chuck loves his boyfriends, he really does, he promises.Just sometimes he wonders why he does, this is certainly one of those times.





	Dicks out for the Hansens

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a Tumblr prompt that then spiralled out of control in the discord and has somehow become the start of a series. 
> 
> Send Help.

The first thing Raleigh was aware of as he woke up was the snoring, drooling body draped across him, pinning him against the mattress. The second was the sheer intensity of the light streaming through the curtains, which only covered two-thirds of the window as Yancy had hung them and Raleigh had still not gotten around to fixing them. 

From the amount of light, Raleigh figured it had to be almost midday, and while it was unusual for him to still be in bed, after a night of marking it wasn’t unheard of. However, the real shock was that only Yancy was in bed with him, no sign of Chuck or Max. 

He spent a few moments trying to remember if Chuck was actually on shift today, or if he’d forgotten anything that they were meant to be doing. When nothing came to mind and he was sure that Chuck was definitely on his long weekend of the month, Raleigh began trying to extract himself from the octopus that was Yancy. 

Not worrying about waking the older man up, Raleigh eventually gave up and shoved him hard enough that he rolled off the bed and onto the floor. The only reaction Yancy gave to being tipped out of the bed was a sharp halt in his snoring and a mumble before pulling the duvet off of the bed and falling straight back to sleep. 

Raleigh shook his head at his brother before climbing out of the bed and heading towards the hallway in search of their boyfriend. 

~~~~~

Chuck had been enjoying a peaceful cup of coffee before the chaos, also known as the Becket Boys, descended upon his day. He’d let Max out into the garden and was about to make a new pot of coffee to try and tempt Raleigh out of bed when the doorbell rang. 

~~~~~

Raleigh stumbled into the kitchen, scratching at his neck, following the scent of fresh coffee. It was a testament to how tired he was that it took him nearly a full minute to notice Chuck wasn’t the only person in the room. It took him a further thirty seconds to realise why Chuck was staring at him with a look of abject horror. 

“I really would’ve liked it if you told me your parents were coming to town.”

“I really would’ve liked it if you put underwear on before coming into the kitchen.”

“In my defence, it literally is my kitchen, so underwear tends to be optional and at my discretion.” 

“I’d argue it’s actually Yancy’s kitchen as he’s the only one that earns enough to actually cover the mortgage.” 

“Counterpoint, if it wasn’t for me Yancy wouldn’t know how to pay the mortgage, or remember to actually do it.” 

Chuck opened his mouth to argue back when there was a loud and pointed cough from the breakfast counter where Herc and Angela were currently sat. They each held two mugs, neither of which matched, either each other or any other mug in the house, similar to every other piece of crockery the three men owned.

Herc glared at Chuck as though this was his fault and if he didn’t fix this scenario in the next five seconds, then the elder Hansen wouldn’t be responsible for his actions. Angela, on the other hand, was smirking at Raleigh, who had gone from unbothered, to self-conscious and wishing to use Chuck as a human shield.

“How’s it hanging, Raleigh?” Angela Hansen, who looked on the surface like sweetness and light, was as far as Raleigh was concerned the most terrifying and devilish person to have ever walked planet earth, and this encounter only cemented his beliefs. 

Chuck spluttered from across the room and frantically looked for help or somewhere to hide Raleigh’s body after he murdered him. 

“Morning Mrs. Hansen.” Raleigh’s blush appeared to be a full-bodied affair, as was evident to everybody in the room. Chuck sighed and took that moment to launch a nearby tea towel directly at Raleigh’s head. 

The look of gratitude and relief Raleigh shot his boyfriend was palpable and he quickly used the towel to provide a semblance of modesty, but Angela’s eyes felt like they were boring into him and made him feel all the more naked for it. Herc, on the other hand, seemed to have spotted something interesting in his coffee and was refusing to look anywhere other than inside of it. 

“Had a _long_ week, Raleigh?” The extremely unsubtle wink that Angela sent Raleigh’s way along with the question had the American looking desperately towards Chuck in the hopes of rescue. But Chuck’s head was currently buried in his hands. 

“Erm, yeah, lots of papers to grade.” 

Chuck let out a soft groan followed by a mumbled “ _Not what she was asking Rals,_ ” that was muffled by his hands. Raleigh, who for a history teacher had the memory of a particularly challenged goldfish, dropped the tea towel he was holding and ran his fingers through his hair. 

Chuck looked up to yet again see Raleigh completely nude, in their kitchen, in front of his parents, and this time decided to intervene directly. He walked over to Raleigh, yanked his hoodie off, and wrapped it around the blond’s waist. 

“ _You take it off and they won’t find the body,_ ” he hissed into the older man’s ear and Raleigh at least had the decency to look ashamed. 

Herc finally decided it was safe to look up from his mug only to see his wife staring smugly at Raleigh with her eyebrows raised. Herc was tempted to kick her to stop any further descent into madness, but the last time he’d done so he needed stitches. 

Just as Chuck decided it was time to remove Raleigh from the situation and get him some clothes, there was a commotion in the corridor as Max ran towards the hallway. Yancy came through the door, Max close on his heels, and just as naked as Raleigh had been moments before. 

Yancy’s attention was focused on Max and so was unaware of the occupants of the kitchen when he decided to greet Raleigh and Chuck. 

“Why’s our little double stuffed oreo out of bed so early? And why are we currently in the kitchen and not in said bed enjoying our collective weekend off?” 

The noise of panic that tore out of Raleigh, combined with Chuck’s whimper, were drowned out by the “ _Excuse me?!_ ” from Herc, causing Yancy to jump and his attention to finally turn to the other two Hansens present.

The vein in Herc’s forehead looked ready to burst, while Angela’s face was filled with amusement. “Nice to see you again Yancy.” 

Chuck’s head returned to his hands and he muttered about idiot Americans and how his life was a shambles. 

“Morning, Angie. Didn’t know you two were in the area.” Yancy seemed either unaware or entirely unbothered with his state of undress, 

“We thought we’d drop in and surprise you boys, didn’t realise you’d be the ones surprising us.” 

Chuck, Herc and Raleigh all groaned at that, both younger men looking as though they’d happily tackle Yancy out of the room. The soft, “ _Don’t encourage him,_ " from Raleigh mixed with the dirty look Chuck was giving both his mother and boyfriend only seemed to spur them both on. 

“You know me Angie, always excited to see you.” 

Raleigh gave his brother a look which quite clearly said he’d gone insane. Both Beckets loved Chuck’s mother, but she was quite possibly the most terrifying person they’d ever encountered and having her in their house was traumatic, to say the least, potentially life-threatening at worst. Never mind when Yancy was trying to flirt with their boyfriend's terrifying mother, with his less lethal, but no less terrifying father watching.

Herc was currently looking between his wife and the two idiots that his son was dating, trying to figure out exactly what Chuck saw in them. He could almost hear Angela saying “well you’ve just seen exactly what he sees in them” and had to suppress a full-body shiver. 

Looking at it from a wider point of view Herc shouldn’t have been surprised, as here was his wife, conversing happy as you like with not one but two, mostly naked idiots, so it should be no shock that Chuck’s decision-making skills and choices in men were questionable, to say the least. 

Raleigh let the conversation carry on for another few minutes, both Yancy and Angela unphased by the very obvious penis present in the situation, and the slightly less obvious penis covered by Chuck’s thin hoodie. But as Chuck was beginning to look almost queasy at the concept of his mum and dad seeing quite this much of his boyfriends and Herc had begun to turn an interesting shade of purple, Raleigh decided it was time to intervene. 

“Hate to interrupt Mrs. Hansen,” 

“It’s Angie, Raleigh. How many times do we have to go over this?” 

“At least once more Mrs. Hansen, but I think it’s time for us to make our excuses and go find some clothes.” 

The twin utterances of “Oh thank god.” from both Hansen men had Raleigh hiding a smirk, before grabbing his brother by the shoulders and steering the older man towards the hallway. 

As Raleigh walked away, due to the limits of Chuck’s hoodie, his ass was in full view of everyone in the room and Chuck slammed his head down onto the counter in defeat. 

He needed to come to accept the fact that he was never going to have a nice normal encounter with anyone while he was in love with those two assholes.


End file.
